Forethought Planning Podcast

Ep 83: What To Do When Senior Care Becomes Your Responsibility

March 01, 2022 Shannon Foreman Season 1 Episode 83
Forethought Planning Podcast
Ep 83: What To Do When Senior Care Becomes Your Responsibility
Show Notes Transcript

On today's episode, I am going to share a personal experience that I'm living through right now. Caregiving and being part of what we call the "sandwich generation." I'm not talking about actual sandwiches, but the element of feeling like you're in a sandwich. For instance, I am a mother, a daughter, and a granddaughter. Now the two generations on either side of me need my care, and so I'm going to walk you through some personal experiences caregiving not only for my daughters, but my dad, my mom, and my grandmother. What are some things that you should start considering in those conversations of transition, and care? This might not be something that you are currently dealing with, but I will tell you, friend, at some point in life, you will likely play the title of caregiver. So you'll want to tune in to this episode.

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Securities offered through LPL Financial, a member of FINRA/SIPC. Advisory services offered through Advisors' Pride, a SEC registered investment advisor. LPL Financial, Advisors' Pride, Forethought Planning and the guests of Thrive For[e]ward podcast are separate and unaffiliated parties. Lisa Harris and Lisa Harris & Co are not affiliated with Forethought Planning, Advisor's Pride, or LPL Financial. The views expressed here are those of the participants, and not those of Forethought Planning, Advisor's Pride, or LPL financial. The opinions voiced in this material are for general information only and are not intended to provide specific advice or recommendations for any individual. LPL Financial and Forethought Planning do not offer legal services.   

Shannon Foreman  0:00  
Hello friends, welcome to the Thrive Forward podcast. This is the month of March. How did we already get to the third month of 2022? I don't know. But we're here friends. And I thought nothing better than for us to touch on a few of the things that are reality for many of us. Throughout the month of March, we are going to have conversations around what are the things that impact us in life from caregiving to purchasing, maybe an investment property to establishing the importance between Long and short term goals? How to not keep up with the Joneses? And what should we be thinking about from our investment philosophy throughout the year that maybe we don't think about? On today's episode though, today, we are going to share a story with you on a personal experience that I'm actually living through right now. And that's around caregiving, and this lovely sandwich generation that I belong to which I believe so many of you can sympathize with. So sandwich generation, what does that mean? No, I'm not a pb&j or ham Sammy with whatever wonderful things that you like to add to your sandwiches and order. For me personally, sometimes it's turkey sandwich with lettuce, tomato. And if I'm at Jersey, Mike's I like it Mike's way without onions and banana peppers. Anyway, I digress. That's not what we're talking about. I'm not talking about actual sandwiches, we're talking about the element of feeling like you're in a sandwich. So for instance, I am raising two amazing daughters, and I am carrying the title of mother. And along comes with that the title of daughter and granddaughter. So I'm almost in this double sandwich generation because I have two generations on the other side of me that need my care as well. And so as we dive in today, I'm going to walk you through some personal experiences I've been having and caregiving not only for my dad, my mom and my grandmother right now, but what are some things that you should start to consider in those conversations of transition, and care. So press play, this might not be something that you are currently dealing with. But I will tell you friend, at some point in life, you will likely play the title and the character of caregiver. So you'll want to tune in to this episode.

Shannon Foreman  2:46  
All right, friends, this is a episode where I get very real with you in sharing actually my personal experiences and what I'm going through right now, as a caregiver, and I do truly believe that there are many of you that are listening today who can experience that, and just want to give you kind of a brief synopsis of the last kind of maybe month, month and a half in the form and household. And that is that, you know, as many of us have had to deal with over the last two and a half years who are parents of small children or even any age children. In school, we got that email, just shortly after our kids came back from Christmas break, or holiday break. However winter break you. You interpret that time, we got an email from school that says we're going to distance learning. And we got that same email in March of 2020. And it kind of felt like that same thing again, where when our kids gonna go back? How are we going to adjust? How are we going to juggle this time, I felt a little bit different. both Jim and I were home. Thank you Bless the Lord, that we were both home both flexible in our work. And that we have the capacity and the support system to be able to have our kids at home. I will caveat with that doesn't make it any easier. Both of us are entrepreneurs and running our own our own businesses and thriving businesses. And so it becomes a lot to then become your teacher's kid, your teachers best friend, your teachers or your teachers, best friend, your kids best friend, your kids teacher and still be a parent. They get tired of your voice. They get tired of you. And we were told it was only going to be three weeks with Thank you. Thank you thank you to our school district for making sure that that did happen. And our kids went back to school Wednesday of last week, when you'll be listening to this, it will be, you know, several weeks after that. That being said, they went back to school in schools that it was going to happen. That was essentially five weeks of our kids being at home. And it's a lot and at the same time filled with with opportunities for our kids to learn and grow. And all of these other things. Our responsibilities don't stop at that time, though. And not only do I carry the, these broad shoulders of mom, wife, co leader, but I also carry the title of caregiver in another capacity not just for the caring of the people that live in my home, but for my father, and my mother. And now we've added another individual to that list, and that is my grandmother. So the same day, you all the same day, this is why I say life transitions happen more at once, then, in chronological order in a way that we wish of our lives would be this immense timeline. I went through this timeline activity once in a writing course that I want. And I was like, mine does not feel linear. And they were like, well, yeah, that's exactly what it's supposed to deliver for you is that it's not supposed to be linear. But we go into this expectation of life that everything is going to happen, like, we're going to do this and then we're going to do that. And then we're going to do this and then we're going to do that. And then life comes in like a wrecking ball. No, Miley Cyrus, pun intended. No Kinney, every pun intended. That being said, the same day, the girls went back to school. And Jim and I are like high fiving each other, we're like, super excited. I'm going into the office, he's going in the office like adults, yay.

Shannon Foreman  6:59  
I get a text message from my mom, that my grandmother who lives about four and a half, five hours away from us, and is all is going to be 94 years old in February when I'm recording this. So by the time you listen to it in March, she's already 94. I mean, what a blessed life to live 94 years. And she's living independently. But that is a conversation we've had to have with her over the last couple of months. And that came into a crashing reality on Wednesday for us when she couldn't be we couldn't get ahold of her. My mom was calling and calling calling she called a neighbor neighbor came in to check on my grandmother and they had to rush her to the emergency room. And you see my grandmother had fallen. And many times for women in our older years, or sometimes in our more experienced years. As I like to say, falling is not great for the body because of bone density and not having the structural and muscular support to endure something like that. My grandmother's sister had the same thing happened to her when I was in my 20s She fell and broke her hip and, and consequently led to lots of health complications as well. That being said, Grandma, she is like, you know how cats have nine lives. My grandma has like 19 lives. She's like a cat on steroids. She did not break a hip, or any bone for that matter. But she is malnourished. And she lives four and a half hours away from us. And the next closest family member is really even farther. My aunt lives down south as she is a professor at a university and can't get up here really quickly. So it became this conversation as a family of what do we do with grandma. And if you're tuning into this episode for the first time and you haven't listened to before I form a podcast. My dad also lives with Alzheimer's and so not only do I have kids, and an amazing mom who cares for my dad, but she also has this huge responsibility of caring for her mom. And and consequently I do too because I don't have siblings. I mean, I do have dear friends who are like my siblings have become family but they don't have the responsibility of this actual care. But they surround me with all the things that I need to help out like when I said hey, this is what's going on. I need my I need my people. They all they all stepped up hard stepped up and I just am so grateful for that, which is why community and being vulnerable in these times and asking for help is is something that I'm not always really good at I preach a lot about it. And it's still a practice for me. So this is something that we need to learn as we go through these life transitions. And especially for us as women, asking for help. That is something that's huge. But I want to talk to you today, not only just about, like, those emotional and big experiences that we have caring for someone else, but the logistical stuff, too. I mean, some of the stuff is is hard to process, and what can we take on? And what can't we take on? What where do we ask for help? What resources are out there? So logistically, my grandmother, lives in an apartment by herself. She's lived in this apartment for as long as I can remember. And she does not have a spouse anymore. Her husband, who was not my grandfather, another man that she had married after my grandfather had passed, has passed away a couple years ago. So it's just her. And this apartment. That's a old school building that's remodeled into an apartment building. So it's a giant windows that at 94 years old makes it hard to open windows, she has a great neighbor, community, but it's not necessarily like a a senior living community with accessible care, in case she were to fall or need something. Or at, you know, sometimes in life, when we grow older, we become less able to do things for ourselves and less than dependent and one sometimes on like the logistical side, we call those activities of daily living. And what those equate to is being able to kind of think about getting out of your bed in the morning to doing the things that you need to do. So bathing, toileting, holding your bladder, we refer to that as in constant eating, and, and transferring in and out of things and getting dressed. So transferring would be like getting from a chair, to a standing position, getting from a bed to a chair, and my grandmother, we just went to visit her in October. And y'all I can't even tell the woman is 93 years old, and she is using a wheelchair but so independently, she does have somebody that comes in and helps her helps her base probably super embarrassed, I'm even telling you that But grandma, embarrass me if you're gonna listen to this podcast. That being said, it is it is something that was important to my mom and I to be able to have grandma closer. And we also knew that independence is something that is hard to give up. And it's a hard conversation to have. We've, we've already done this with my dad. And it still is a constant battle with somebody that is experiencing memory loss with him. It is a constant reminder of the things that we have to have these conversations over and over again, why can't you drive? Why can't you do this? Why can't you work you like all of these different things with him. And my mom's like, she should really write a book about how to have these conversations, because she's gotten so good at them for the last seven years of her life, practicing these things. So she's a little nervous about having this conversation with my grandma. And turns out,

Shannon Foreman  13:12  
thankfully, that grandma was willing to move. But that is the first step that is the hardest conversation with your family members in a caregiving capacity when you know that they are no longer safe to be in a space on their own, and that we need them to be closer to us. And so what can we do, and in some cases, that is where a lot of individuals move into the home with a loved one. And that's not a that's not a thing that is available to my mom, she cannot care for my dad and my grandmother and one home. That is just way too much for one individual to handle. I don't wish that on my mom, she already has her hands full. That means that the next piece is okay, well, what how can we is it something that Gemini can take on where grandma comes and lives with us? Well, she, like I mentioned uses a wheelchair. Our house isn't super wheelchair accessible. And we have small children. And we both run our own businesses and from a capacity of wanting her to still have some level of independence, it would really rely on a lot of restructuring for us. And one thing that I have learned throughout my life is that if I can't do it, then it's okay to hire it. And if we're in the capacity to be able to do it, then let's do that as an option. So our option was for the good of everyone in this situation for grandma to still have a level of independence for her to be close by to us. And not a four and a half hour drive if we needed to do something. And you know, selfishly for me, this will be something that I will take on for my mom too. I need her Gotta be close, and I can't drive four and a half hours every single time, she's going to need something. And she was such a good sport and we framework it as grammar, we're gonna take care of all this for you, and we're going to transition. So your apartment in Wisconsin, and your new place in Minnesota look exactly the same, maybe a little bit different, because it's a new layout, new space, but we're gonna bring the things that are important to you, those comfort pieces, the first phone call, I make besides to my best friends, saying, hey, I need you is to a dear friend of mine, who's an estate planning and elder law attorney. All right. What do I need to know, remind me, I'm in this thick. And sometimes it's really easy when you're on the other side of it, and you're giving that advice to people. But now it's me. What do I need to remember to ask? So grandmas in the hospital number one, when your loved one lands in the hospital, because of a fall because of an injury or something of that sort. And they are Medicare eligible age. So 65. Plus, you want to make sure that they are not under observation, but they are admitted. So this is very important when we start to talk about cost and logistical things. So we're kind of changing from that emotional conversation now into the logistical piece of things. Making sure that that happens is something that will either transition the cost to Medicare, or make it an eight out of pocket cost for you all. And so you want to make sure that if insurance can pay for it, insurance pays for it. But under observation with Medicare, they aren't required to pay. Consequently, a lot of the things that you would need from a care if there is rehab, if there is skilled nursing care in there, it has to be that they have been admitted to the hospital and are under care, not observation, but they are admitted to the hospital for three days for Medicare to cover anything going forward. And then Medicare only covers up to 100 days, in these skilled nursing facilities and rehab is a little bit different. There are different day, periods of time that they will cover. That being said, you want to make sure that you have somebody advocating for you that you understand that you're asking questions so that you get a good sense of what is happening. Alright, friends, we're

Shannon Foreman  17:39  
going to take a brief pause in our conversation around transitioning our loved ones and all of the things that happened with this, if this conversation has brought you to the thought process of Well, I never really thought about this for myself or for somebody I care about. And I need to understand how does all of this affect my finances? Yes, money touches every aspect of our lives. And as I've said throughout this conversation today, it is hard for us to move from one space of these conversations to an other without understanding that our emotions are impacted, the logistics of things in our everyday is impacted, our finances and our relationships are all impacted as a part of that too. Well, we would love the opportunity to surround you in a part of that planning. And if you think this is time for that conversation, please simply go to forethought. backslash wealth assessment, and let's start that conversation today. That first step looks like us understanding if we would be a good fit to work together. And then from there, we really start to understand what is the current status of your financial affairs where you at? Where would you like to be, and then we help put together and hold you accountable, and be that partner for you. And getting to the place that you want to be and how you want that to essentially feel for yourself, your family and your loved ones. So as I said, simply go to forethought. backslash wealth assessment today. Now back to more of our conversation on taking care of those that we love. The other piece that is something that's really important to make sure that you have on hand and this would be a before you do anything or before anything happens, not while it's happening, right because that person needs to be under the ability to be able to make financial and legal decisions. That being said, you want to make sure that you have their legal power of attorney and their health care directive or their healthcare power of attorney. And that is something that allows you to help be able to facilitate their wishes. If that works is totally able to still do those things like my grandma, she is of right mind, she can actually hold, you know, more extensive conversations than my dad, and she is 20 plus years older than him. That being said,

Shannon Foreman  20:16  
we still want that person to be very much a part of that conversation, and understanding the things that are important to them. So making sure to involve them. So my conversation, my lead, my the thing that I was in charge of was, how do we logistically get grandma from Wisconsin to Minnesota, which is still in process as we're recording this, but it was we've got stuff that needs to move here before her, and then we need to get her here. So how do we do all of those things? Again, this is a part where sometimes you might not have the ability to do it. So there are services out there that will help you move some of these things, and essentially take that space that you that they used to be in and make the new space look like that. So there are services, the senior linkage line is a great resource to start with. And maybe we'll throw a couple other resources up on the blog for you if you are currently in this space, and needing to find a space to live and move somebody and understand the cost of care and the legal aspects of things. So we'll, we'll put some resources out there for you on the blog. So make sure you look at the show notes. And then it will get you to the forethought planning website where we host the blog and resources. That being said, logistically, my responsibility to get everything handled for grandma, but I want to make sure grandma is on board for that. So I talked to my grandma, I say, hey, Graham, I'm really looking forward to you being closer by the girls are looking forward to seeing you. I want to make sure in this transition that when you come to this new space, it feels like home for you. What are the pieces that are really important to you. This is a little bit of a different conversation, my grandmother and I are not super tight, I look forward to this experience to be able to finally have a relationship with my grandmother that I've always wanted. And there are a lot of complex situations that happen throughout my childhood and adulthood that did not allow for that. And now we have that freedom and ability to be able to do that. That being said, I don't know what my grandma wants, I want to she doesn't want what is going to make her feel good. And without rushing to make her feel like she has to make that decision today. You've got you got a couple of weeks, Grandma, you're gonna go from the hospital to rehab to get you strong. So you're ready to live on your own again and have us close by. So I just want to understand what are the things that are really important to you. And these are conversations that are maybe going to have to happen for me over the next couple of weeks with her several times, right? Because we need to make sure that that person still feels very much a part of any decision making process that's happening, that these decisions aren't happening for them in a way that they have no say on. So you know, once grandma gave us the green light and said yes. Okay, I know I was stubborn before. But yes, I'm ready to move, I'm ready to be closer to all of you. That that gave us the ability to kind of have these deeper conversations. That's that hurdle of getting over that part. Now we're on the other side. So we are, you know, I mentioned to you, I don't have siblings, and I have children, and mom can't leave because she has dad. So that means Jim and I are going to have to drive to to Wisconsin to get grandma's stuff. Turn around, setup that place, and then go back and get her. So that's a lot of driving back and forth. And then I don't know where my kids gonna go Are the kids gonna come with us that sounds like a nightmare. So thankfully, um, you know, Team foreman, we've got a couple individuals who are stepping up to the plate to help take care of the girls to help take care of our pup because we've got a four legged child now too. And then we will go down there with my best friend and her husband who are going to drive down with us and then the guys are going to drive the U haul back and then I get to have my best friend there for emotional, mental physical support. Because this trip is going to be hard for me there's a lot of different things that come up with the relationship that I have with my grandmother. And so my my mom is my mom can't be there for me. So the next best person for me is my best friend since I was seven years old. And like no hesitation she sent me a text message. She's like, I have a center for my kids. We Got it on our calendar, we'll be there. asking my husband, you know, through this process, I have to handle the emotions of my mom and my grandma, I need you to book the U haul. And so it's being able to articulate and delegate to individuals who are close to you. Now, let's say you don't have that community, because I do believe that that is a true blessing. Like I mentioned, there are other resources out there for you. So maybe you don't have a job where you can scoot away on a weekend or even during the week to do these types of things. That That being said, it's, it's time to think about some of the resources that are available to you to be able to do that. Also, we're moving across state lines. So there are other logistical things, changing insurance, making sure that we have updated legal documents that reflect the state laws of Minnesota, and making sure again, just like new doctors knew everything, as you come into the space, then there's the actual space itself. So I don't know if you have ever had to tour a care facilities, senior housing, thankfully, in my career, have gotten to be in a lot of these spaces, I have gotten the grand opportunity to see people in in healthy spaces that I know they're being cared for, and know that they have resources available to them. And they are not the horror stories that we see. Because ideally, I hear this so often with my clients, I don't want to go to a home, I want to be at home, I want to be in my home, not somewhere else. And there are a lot of facilities, and differences between independent living, assisted living, skilled nursing care and memory care, and even nursing care in between there and skilled skilled care. So there are different coverages. There's also at the other end of things, there's hospice care. So it's like this journey through the care system, what is the best space for that to look like. So if your loved one can do those things independently for themselves, like they can get in and out of their, you know, bed, they can transfer and sit down, they can go to the bathroom, they can get dressed, they can do those things, independent living might be a great space for them to start, it is usually, you know, a jazzed up more expensive rent, you're essentially renting a unit at a senior housing facility that might have transitional care, that can either come into that apartment, or you would move to another unit. Ideally, you would like to be in a space where they are not transitioning to another space.

Shannon Foreman  28:04  
There are all kinds of things that get associated with this. And one of the biggest pieces is the financial piece. So my mom and I go to a place that is my mom has already kind of researched had some conversations about again, this is her mom. So I want to be respectful of my mother to what does she want for her mom, she knows her mom better than I do. She's going to be able to kind of navigate that space a little bit. I from a professional level, I'm going to know the questions to ask and fill out the space of no if it's good or not for the return on investment that we might have. The other part is the shock you have to write. It's not cheap. And can feel like sticker shock to some when everything starts to get added up. I know it kind of kind of related to being in the hospital and having a baby and seeing how much a frickin ibuprofen costs. And you're like, I'll bring my own next time, I'll bring my own because I don't need you to charge me $500 For a tiny pill that I could literally get for $500 a lifetime supply, if not for just me but the next generation. So you know that that part is hard to see. And as you as you look at menus of services, and then facilities you get what you pay for too. So do you want your loved one being in a facility that feels like I don't know, prison? Right? That's the reason why people are saying I don't want I don't want to go to a home I want to be at home. You don't want your loved one in a space that doesn't feel like a home to them. So we walked in to this facility built in the 1980s I'm like okay, Try not to judge right? I want to have this experience be good for my grandmother. It is a phenomenal facility. They have remodeled it, they have entertainment, they have activities available, they have a restaurant, they are COVID safe, their entire staff is vaccinated, they still screen their staff, they have had minimal amounts of outbreaks in their facility. And if we really want to look at the last two years, that is a phenomenal space to kind of consider knowing that a lot of our COVID numbers happened in our senior housing facilities and memory care units and things of that sort. That being said, understanding the cost of care and how that can impact impact your loved ones. So we sit down at the table after we tour the space and get all the jazz now I'm like, okay, that's wonderful. I like the space. What is the bottom line. So we are hoping that after rehab, grandma's still feeling independent, and she can get to a space where she is living comfortably on her own. With that said,

Shannon Foreman  31:21  
there's a difference in pricing from independent to assisted living. And what is the difference between the two difference between the two is someone who might need the care. Sometimes they'll package that together for okay, maybe your loved one can't complete two of the activities of daily living. So they'll add this piece on to it for this X amount of dollars, or maybe they just need to buy some of the services all a cart, and instead of packaging these things, but that is where the number goes drastically up I want to explain is I had to do this for my mom a little bit the difference between independent and assisted living. Independent again, remember is like you are literally renting an apartment from someone assisted living means if you fall, if you're choking, if you're doing something, they can have their nursing staff assist you in independent living, they can they call 911. And so if your loved one is really in need of something in can't do these activities of daily living or you're concerned about their level of care, you need to be able to weigh those two options. And that is something that we are in the midst of being able to do what is the best for Graham, what is she what kind of care does she need in order to get to this next level. That being said, you know, I want you to understand some of the things that you could do today or some of the conversations that you could have with your loved ones. I truly believe the things that happened to me in my life are to be able to educate other individuals. I've shared this before. I love my family. And they're open with me sharing about these things. They did not have a financial planner. They do now in their lives. Because they raised one unbeknownst to them, sometimes you do exactly the opposite of what you've been taught. They didn't have the capability or the education to understand what do they need to do. And so now, we have kind of two different scenarios where care for my dad is provided via Medicaid, not Medicare. So they are getting financial assistance, in order to have my dad had my mom have respite care somebody to come in and help my dad. And Grandma is in a different scenario. So there's still a spin down scenario with her. And what I will say just as a general in a spend down scenario, in order to qualify for Medicaid, you are not allowed to have very much money. And it varies from state to state because it is a state program even though it's a federally funded program. state by state decides the guidelines for how you qualify for the state need. So you're not allowed to have very much, you're usually only allowed to have one car and one home. So if you own multiple properties, you might want to think about having a conversation with an attorney about what that looks like in order to understand your options a little bit better. That means that it takes you to be in a financially destitute space to qualify for care. Other than that, it is your responsibility to pay for care because Medicare does not cover that cost. Medicare covers some hospitalization and hospice care. So like end of life comfort care, but That gap in between where you need more care that's on you to pay. And so as we start to have these conversations of transition, and especially, I want to speak to those women who are a part of the sandwich generation or dealing with this caregiving space, for the first time, it is very important for you to be able to ask for help, there are so many resources out there again, I like I said, we'll throw some up on to the blog.

Shannon Foreman  35:30  
Have those people that are in your life, lean on them, be direct, and don't be afraid to be the one that takes the lead so that everybody knows their responsibilities. Although it's a great blessing as my best friend who is one of seven and it's just me talk all the time about the differences between the two, like for her and decisions and care for her parents, she doesn't actually has six other siblings, you got to argue with right, I don't have anybody, I can kind of just make the decisions with my parents and say, Hey, this is what we're gonna do. And so there are given take in those scenarios. If you have siblings, or individuals that you are going through these conversations with, don't be afraid to say, Hey, this is what I need you to do. Are you capable of doing that if you're not capable of doing that, go to the next sibling, and say, You know what I need you to figure out something that you are capable of, because I can't do everything. I'm going to say that, again. I can't do everything. So as a family member, there might be somebody that takes the lead that's really good at delegating, and the rest of us need to step up and listen. And maybe there's that friend that needs that extra help. And maybe it's not even family members, sometimes it's friends that are going to take up and step up. Maybe it's somebody that's going to take your kids to gymnastics practice, maybe it's somebody that's going to watch your dog while you guys are gone. Maybe it's somebody that's going to bring you over a meal because you know how tired you are at the end of the week from just emotionally thinking about things. Because this is hard. And it is a process. I mean, I can't tell you, I cried a lot. Last week, in the steps of getting to this place, I cried by myself, I cried with my best friend, I cried with my husband. Because there are loads of emotions that come with transitioning, and the responsibility that happens with that. So don't be afraid to allow yourself to feel that responsibility of, hey, this feels heavy, and I need to process it.

Shannon Foreman  37:37  
And don't be afraid to lean in and ask for help. That is something that I have learned how to do since becoming a mom. I can't do this by myself. So I need other people to help me out. And I need to be specific about what the things that I need are. Because there's nothing worse than having somebody come to you and say, What do you need from me? And you're like, everything right now? Like I don't even know where to start? Is there something you could just pick off of like the long list of things that I have to do, but people won't know unless you have a list. So maybe say, okay, here are the things that I know that I need help with, here are the things that I know somebody else can do. And here are the things that I know I can do myself and have a good idea of what that looks like. And if it's a service that you need to hire out, or if it's somebody in your life that you need to ask for help for the biggest part in any of these types of life transitions is communication. And you are going to hear me say that over and over again, communication, understanding your behaviors, and then strategy. But all of those things work together and they can't one work without the other. So when you're going through these care, planning situations, understand all of those things and understand when you need your piece replenished and you feel back up so that you can continue to move forward for the people that are dependent on you. So kind of snap sizing this entire conversation, in my personal journey. Involve your loved one in those conversations that you're having the person that you're caring for help them to be a part of that decision making process, so that they still feel like this is their life because it is and if we want them to be with us, then they need to feel like that. Understand and ask questions and advocate for that individual from a strategy perspective, especially if you're dealing with a transition of housing, finding a place the hospital, health care, all of those things. Make sure there are legal documents in play that allow you to be able to be that person for someone a power of attorney, either in a financial capacity or in a healthcare capacity and maybe that's a split duty with another individual, but making sure that you are communicating and understanding what you need in that process. So, if you need some added resources, please go to forethought., go to this episode on the blog, and we will have them available to you understand my friends that this is hard. It is not easy. Caregiving is not for the faint of heart. My mom deserves a badge of honor for all she does every single day with my dad, and so many caregivers do. Most of the care that is provided in our country is provided by loved ones. So if that is you, I commend you. And I give you your badge of honor, as well. Know that that badge is not something you solely have to wear by yourself, but rather something that you can ask others for assistance for too. So this is my encouragement to you. What is something today that you could give to somebody else to take on. As I always say, wealth touches all aspects of our lives and sodas, money. And some of these areas we talked about today. But one thing that I really want you to remember is that you are worthy of wealth. So take the opportunity to set yourself up in a space that allows you to Thrive Forward. The views expressed here are those of the participants and not those of forethought planning advisors, pide, or LPL. Financial all investing involves risk including loss of principle, no strategy assures success or protects against loss securities are offered through LPL Financial and member of FINRA and SIPC advisory services offered through advisors pride and SEC registered investment advisor LPL Financial Advisors pride forethought planning and the guests of the Thrive Forward podcast are separate and unaffiliated parties

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